When my husband's nephew came to the US for the first time, he got off the airplane with one small suitcase. He was only about 17 at the time, but he was moving to the States. I was amazed that he only had one little suitcase. And it wasn't even full!
I guess the mentality was: Everything is available in America, your dirty, raggy clothes won't cut it anyway. You'll just get newer, better stuff in the US
In fact, this is how almost every Yemeni I know, gets off the plane: With minimal possessions. The suitcase is more ornamental than anything.
However, when Yemenis go BACK to Yemen, that's a different story. Every single time I've known a Yemeni to go back home, he will take at least five huge suitcases. Often these are filled with clothing for children, wives and other family members. And friends will ask them to deliver goods for their own families.
So, the equation goes like this: Yemeni to US = 1 suitcase. Yemeni back to Yemen = 5 suitcases. Yemeni returns to US = 1 suitcase. And the cycle repeats.
My question is: WHERE ARE ALL THE SUITCASES ENDING UP?? I've asked my husband, "Is there a huge mountain of suitcases somewhere in your village?" He thinks I'm joking, but it just baffles me!
So, when one of his friends/relatives (the collective term is "cousin") goes back, we sometimes end up buying him a suitcase. We will fill this suitcase with clothing for my husband's nieces and nephews. But when I'm in Walmart shopping for these suitcases, I always have to ask, "Didn't so-and-so JUST go to Yemen and didn't we just get a suitcase for him too?"
See, my family is not Yemeni. When my mother goes to the Bahamas for a vacation, she takes 2 suitcases. When she comes back, surprise, she brings the same 2 suitcases back. Sometimes, she'll bring an additional bag back because she bought souvenirs. She has had to purchase suitcases maybe once in the past 20 years. I can't even imagine telling her how/why we buy suitcases almost every year.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Yemenis in NY
Many Yemenis live and work in New York City. In my opinion, these are mostly men, who are here to work off-the-books so that they can send money back home to Yemen. Often, they are sending money to their wives and children. Sadly, this is very common, meaning they are here apart from their families.
I know of a lot of guys who work in delis, convenience stores, bodegas, newsstands and the like. I'm not exactly sure what draws Yemenis into this line of work. I guess it might be similar to why there are so many Vietnamese nail salons, Chinese dry cleaning and Sudani cab drivers? Maybe everyone else is doing it
Anyway, the life of the "bodega" Yemeni isn't ideal. Usually he'll work seven days a week, 12 hours a day. No days off, no vacations, sick days, half-days, holidays, weekends. Seriously. I suppose it's a similar story for a lot of people who came to this country, working long, hard hours, in search for a better life. But I digress...
He will work at the cash register and/or stock shelves. A lot of times, I've seen these guys come off the airplane, straight from the village and thrust into work. Yemen is an Islamic country. Not ultra-conservative, I don't think, but fairly conservative. Yet these Yemenis will come to NYC, and start slicing ham and salami for sandwiches, stocking beer in the coolers, selling scratch-off lottery tickets and maintaining inventory on newspapers and magazines, including X-rated reads. All of these were haram where they came from, so it's an understatement to say it's a culture shock.
Many guys suck it up and deal with it, maintaining the values they grew up with. They realize it's part of the job, earning a living to send money home, all the while asking God for forgiveness.
For other guys, they can't deal with it, and succumb to the pressure, to the "sins" and guilty pleasures.
My husband and I know of people on both ends of the spectrum. The ones who fall are such sad, pathetic creatures. Drinking, doing/selling drugs, cavorting with prostitutes. Interestingly enough though, I've never known of a Yemeni to eat pork. I guess some haram is worse than others!
Of course, like anything, there are exceptions to the people I've described. We also know of Yemenis who have their families here, raising their kids. Eventually, there are Yemenis (Yemeni-Americans) going to college and working 9 to 5 jobs just like any John Doe. However, these really are the exception. My husband and I only know of few people who don't fit the mold and they are usually the younger, rich generation, offspring of government elite.
I mentioned earlier that many Yemenis in NYC work in convenience stores. I think the next job of choice is taxi-cab driver. The ones who save up for a taxi or limousine license, learn enough English to get by, learn enough of NYC traffic patterns.
To me, working in a convenience store or taxi-cab are 2 of the most dangerous jobs they can pick. Cash transactions, dealing with the general public. Convenience stores are often near train stations or bus lines. It's too easy to get robbed in a deli or a taxi-cab.
My husband worked in a convenience store in NYC and he's been robbed at gunpoint TWICE This shouldn't be a typical workplace danger, unless you work in a combat zone.
I know of a lot of guys who work in delis, convenience stores, bodegas, newsstands and the like. I'm not exactly sure what draws Yemenis into this line of work. I guess it might be similar to why there are so many Vietnamese nail salons, Chinese dry cleaning and Sudani cab drivers? Maybe everyone else is doing it
Anyway, the life of the "bodega" Yemeni isn't ideal. Usually he'll work seven days a week, 12 hours a day. No days off, no vacations, sick days, half-days, holidays, weekends. Seriously. I suppose it's a similar story for a lot of people who came to this country, working long, hard hours, in search for a better life. But I digress...
He will work at the cash register and/or stock shelves. A lot of times, I've seen these guys come off the airplane, straight from the village and thrust into work. Yemen is an Islamic country. Not ultra-conservative, I don't think, but fairly conservative. Yet these Yemenis will come to NYC, and start slicing ham and salami for sandwiches, stocking beer in the coolers, selling scratch-off lottery tickets and maintaining inventory on newspapers and magazines, including X-rated reads. All of these were haram where they came from, so it's an understatement to say it's a culture shock.
Many guys suck it up and deal with it, maintaining the values they grew up with. They realize it's part of the job, earning a living to send money home, all the while asking God for forgiveness.
For other guys, they can't deal with it, and succumb to the pressure, to the "sins" and guilty pleasures.
My husband and I know of people on both ends of the spectrum. The ones who fall are such sad, pathetic creatures. Drinking, doing/selling drugs, cavorting with prostitutes. Interestingly enough though, I've never known of a Yemeni to eat pork. I guess some haram is worse than others!
Of course, like anything, there are exceptions to the people I've described. We also know of Yemenis who have their families here, raising their kids. Eventually, there are Yemenis (Yemeni-Americans) going to college and working 9 to 5 jobs just like any John Doe. However, these really are the exception. My husband and I only know of few people who don't fit the mold and they are usually the younger, rich generation, offspring of government elite.
I mentioned earlier that many Yemenis in NYC work in convenience stores. I think the next job of choice is taxi-cab driver. The ones who save up for a taxi or limousine license, learn enough English to get by, learn enough of NYC traffic patterns.
To me, working in a convenience store or taxi-cab are 2 of the most dangerous jobs they can pick. Cash transactions, dealing with the general public. Convenience stores are often near train stations or bus lines. It's too easy to get robbed in a deli or a taxi-cab.
My husband worked in a convenience store in NYC and he's been robbed at gunpoint TWICE This shouldn't be a typical workplace danger, unless you work in a combat zone.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Happily married
I'm an American woman who is married to a wonderful Yemeni-American man. We've been together for 20 years, but it feels like we've known each other all our lives.
It's often quite amazing how well it's worked all these years, considering how different our backgrounds and cultures are!
We love each other immensely and could not imagine a world without each other. Like any other couple, we joke, laugh, tease each other, bicker, argue (rarely, though!) and all the other normal stuff.
A lot of what I tease him about relates to him being from Yemen. He teases back, at me, my family, my heritage... it's all in good fun.
We have beautiful children, from teenagers to toddlers. Since my husband was brought up a little differently from me, we occasionally differences in opinion in how to raise them. In fact, many parts of daily life can bring up terms for debate! Luckily, we handle everything and work things out.
I've always hoped to find other women like me: American or Western and married to a Yemeni. Come on, I can't be the only one! I set up a Twitter account a while back just for fun. I've connected with Yemenis and others with roots or interest in Yemen. While I love tweeting, the 140-character max often isn't enough! Hence, the birth of this blog.
A lot of what I might post, here or on Twitter, is all meant in good fun. I don't mean to insult anyone or any country. As mentioned earlier, I love my husband dearly. I also adore his family, who have embraced me and our children with open arms. I get along with his many "cousins" (You know, for Yemenis, almost any other Yemeni is a cousin!) But he has his quirks and I love him, quirks and all!
OK, so that's my intro. As they say, Yalla! Yalla!
It's often quite amazing how well it's worked all these years, considering how different our backgrounds and cultures are!
We love each other immensely and could not imagine a world without each other. Like any other couple, we joke, laugh, tease each other, bicker, argue (rarely, though!) and all the other normal stuff.
A lot of what I tease him about relates to him being from Yemen. He teases back, at me, my family, my heritage... it's all in good fun.
We have beautiful children, from teenagers to toddlers. Since my husband was brought up a little differently from me, we occasionally differences in opinion in how to raise them. In fact, many parts of daily life can bring up terms for debate! Luckily, we handle everything and work things out.
I've always hoped to find other women like me: American or Western and married to a Yemeni. Come on, I can't be the only one! I set up a Twitter account a while back just for fun. I've connected with Yemenis and others with roots or interest in Yemen. While I love tweeting, the 140-character max often isn't enough! Hence, the birth of this blog.
A lot of what I might post, here or on Twitter, is all meant in good fun. I don't mean to insult anyone or any country. As mentioned earlier, I love my husband dearly. I also adore his family, who have embraced me and our children with open arms. I get along with his many "cousins" (You know, for Yemenis, almost any other Yemeni is a cousin!) But he has his quirks and I love him, quirks and all!
OK, so that's my intro. As they say, Yalla! Yalla!
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