1)
Me: "Have the children eaten dinner?"
Husband: "They didn't want any."
Me: "Did you ASK them if they wanted to eat?"
Husband: "No"
Me: "Well how do you know they didn't want any?"
Husband: "Look, I cooked. If they wanted some they would've asked for it."
Me: "But if you don't tell them you cooked, or you don't ask them if they want to eat, how would they know?"
Husband: ...[silence]...
Me, to our kids: "Kids! Do you guys want to eat?"
Kids: "YES MAMA WE'RE HUNGRY!"
2)
Husband: "I want to buy you the new iPad"
Me: "No, we already have an iPad; I don't need another one"
Husband: "But it's so coooool"
Me: "And it's so expensive! And unnecessary!"
Husband: "But it's so coooool"
Me: ...[walks away]...
3)
At a appointment, the doctor took note of my husband's medical history. She noted his age, height, weight, diet among many factors. She also noted "OK so you're a heterosexual male with one partner" Later, when we got home, he and I talked:
Husband: "I can't believe she said that!"
Me: "Said what?"
Husband: "That I'm a heterosexual male"
Me: "But you are!"
Husband: "Of course I am! Do I look like some makhnooth (Arabic slang for 'homosexual') ??"
Me: "Honey, it's her job to document anything concerning your medical history, lifestyle included"
Husband: "Huh! So you think some men say they take it up the ass????"
Me: "I don't think they'd be so vulgar and tactless. I think they'd just remark that they are 'homosexual' It doesn't have to be graphic!"
4)
Me: "I really wish you wouldn't use your iPhone while you drive."
Husband: "Don't worry! You worry too much! I know what I'm doing!"
A few minutes later, as he was photographing the clouds in the sky as he drove, he nearly crashed into another car.
Me: "What did I just tell you??? Didn't I just say it was dangerous to be distracted by your phone while you're driving?"
Husband: "What are you so angry about? I didn't hit him, did I?"
5)
Husband: "I just spoke to one of my favorite nieces, Lamyah. Can you believe she has a little son now? He's grown so big now, mashallah! She's so proud of him! I'm going to send him some money for Eid"
Me: "That's great! I'm happy for her! What's her son's name?"
Husband: "I don't know"
Me: "You never thought to ask???"
