I would like to start blogging again. Not that I was really doing it that much before. I actually prefer tweeting Unfortunately, tweets are transient. Not everyone sees them, depending on the time they are posted. And many people, myself included, have short, nano-second attention spans. You might see a tweet you want to address, but your attention has already shifted to the next tweet, so nothing gets done about it. Anyway...
I want to (re)introduce myself, so that I can get my bearings again. I am an American woman, born and raised in the USA. I grew up in a semi-Catholic home. My parents were not very pious, although they wanted to be. I grew disenchanted with the Church. I learned about Islam when I was a teenager and decided it was exactly what I had been looking for. Of course, there are more details along the way, but that's the gist of it.
I met my husband-to-be around that time. He was born in Yemen, raised in the remotest of villages (near Rada) He spent his early teenage years in Britain, so by the time he met me, not only did he speak English, but he was very Westernized. We fell in love, like Westerners do, but we also shared a passion for the Islamic faith.
At this point, we've been married, very happily I should add, for twenty years now. We've had a great relationship. Not a day goes by without us telling each other how much we love or miss each other. There are days we're just like teenagers again, full of loving glances and terms of endearment.
Along the way, we've had 3 children. While my husband and I have been on the same page in just about every aspect of our lives, (our marriage, our finances, our living conditions, our faith, our political preferences...) we tend do differ on parenting issues. I attribute this, of course, to our very different upbringings. What's acceptable in my culture is frowned upon in his, and vice versa. This was a main reason I even started a Twitter account: I wanted to find other families like mine: A mix of an Arab and a Westerner. I've had the Twitter for maybe two years now (?) and I've only found maybe 2 or 3 people who fit this bill. I would call that pretty unsuccessful.
I'm rambling, sorry! This was supposed to be my (re)introduction. Maybe this is why I stopped blogging in the first place: My tendency to ramble and go off-tangent.
In my 20 years married to my Yemeni husband, I've learned a lot about Yemenis and Yemeni culture in general. Some things I like, some I don't and for others, I'm indifferent. I will hopefully, from time to time, address topics I've observed. I want to make this disclaimer: If I make a statement like "Why do so many Yemenis work in convenience stores or drive taxis?" I don't mean ALL Yemenis. Of course, there are many Yemeni teachers, doctors, photographers, singers... I do not mean to fit every Yemeni into a stereotype. What I mean is, "MOST Yemenis, that I (or my husband) know" So, in the above example, it's true, most of my husband's Yemeni relatives and friends do indeed either work in a convenience store or drive a taxi. If I go down his list of phone contacts, I'm pretty sure about 90% of these people will fit that description.
Similarly if I say "Yemeni kids don't get much education", again, this applies to MOST Yemenis that I know personally. It is not a jab at EVERY Yemeni. So, if you're a Yemeni author, baker, computer engineer, clothing designer, lab technician, I am NOT addressing you. Most likely, my husband and I don't associate with people like you (unfortunately for us) This is because, as I mentioned before, my husband is from the village and not many people aspire to become more than farmers, sadly.
Hi there! So if you're trying to find other people who are in a similar boat, here I am . Married for over 10 years to a Yemeni "from the village." His village happens to be near Rada, too. And he still works in/runs a deli in NYC. I found you because I typed in "Married to a Yemeni" and you popped up. Would love to talk. The e-mail (I think) you will get from this comment is not one I use often but I'll check it...I've got girls, (not yet teenagers) and am anticipating a lot of the same stuff you're talking about. We've already run into some of it....Let's talk!
ReplyDeleteI liked what you wrote, I read it all today. You are a good writer with a good sense of humor. You seem to be a good wife and mother too; also your husband seems to be a caring father. May Allah bless you and your family. You made me laugh through most of the stories. The most I liked is the story about grapes; it's a short one but very funny (that's how most Arabs are in invitations: persistent and pushy too. It's just part of being generous). You wrote it so perfectly so when one reads it he feels as if he's watching a comedy show.
ReplyDeleteI also liked it when you felt pity for the village women doing all the chores and the men just chilling out. Tribesmen think like lions: the lioness does the hunt and the king eats first! Why? because he is the one who defends the clan and dies for it. hahaha. They should know better that nowadays we live differently than our grandfathers.
I felt your concern about raising your daughter. You seem though you're handling it just wisely. I knew a Yemeni couple (both parents are Yemenis)living in Dallas, their kids were born their and they're having the same problems with their teenagers.( some info about me: I stayed in Dallas for a year in 1998. I graduated from New Mex. S.U. in 1990)
I have to say ma sha Allah or else I might envy your good family by accident! hahah. Please convey my best regards to your husband; and if I may (or allow myself) to play the role of a mentor/adviser with both of you I'd look at one of you & say: "Thank Allah for being so lucky in having such a spouse!" and look at the other and say the same.