Friday, August 26, 2011

To be (considerate) or not to be (inconsiderate)

My husband is a loving father and a wonderful husband. But many times, he comes across as inconsiderate. Here are some examples:

A few days ago, I was out running errands. When I came home, I discovered my husband had left the house. No note, nothing. I asked our older daughter, "Where's Baba?" She said, "I don't know, did he leave?" GRRR So he left the house without telling anyone what he was up to.

I sent him a text asking him where he was. He replied, "I went to visit so-and-so" I asked, "Didn't you think you could tell anyone?" Him: "Why??" GRRR

He had done this earlier in the year. He would take our youngest daughter out for a walk, and not tell anyone. Well, we soon noticed that our girl was nowhere in the house and for a few (frantic) minutes, we thought she had slipped through the door and run away! I texted him anxiously, "Do you have our daughter?" He thought it would be funny to play a trick on me, so he replied, "No, I thought she was with you"

Never toy with the emotions of a mother who thinks her child is missing. The split-second after he texted me that, I was in tears, bawling because she was nowhere in the house to be found. A few seconds later, he texted "Just kidding" - like it was no big deal. Believe me, I played Hell with him when he got back.

Here's what I did yesterday: I was scheduled to go to work as usual. I got dressed, packed my lunch and kissed everyone good-bye. When I got there, I learned I had been given the day off so I headed back home. Before I drove back, I sent a text to my husband, telling him that there was a scheduling issue and I was on my way back.

Why did I do this? Because after I left home, he wouldn't be expecting a car to pull up in our driveway. He wouldn't be expecting someone to unlock the house door. I certainly didn't want to walk through the door with someone swinging a big stick at me! So I INFORMED him, well in advance, so he'd know what was going on. And that he wouldn't mistake me for an intruder and hit me with a stick!

But, my friends, that is what's called being considerate.

1 comment:

  1. yep you're absolutely right: Needless to say, being considerate shows others how much you respect and care about them. See, a lot of Yemenis think that when they drop by the house of someone without calling first is a sign of closeness in their friendship,( or, for that matter, taking your pen without permission!); but, thanks to Allah, this is fading away at least within the new generation.
    Our Prophet, صلى الله عليه وسلم, once said (just the meaning of what he said as I remember it):" If a man comes back from a travel he shouldn't enter his house at a wrong time (like late at night or during nap time in the afternoon) and he should first let his family or wife knows somehow of his arrival so as not to surprise her (or them, the family) for she might not be ready to meet him, i.e. her hair isn't combed or her dress is filthy, or worse, she might think he isn't trusting her and hoping to catch her doing a foul thing!
    Another story of our Prophet: a guy wanted to play a prank on his friend so he hid his shoes. When that friend came looking for his shoes frantically, the Prophet said some thing like: "It's forbidden for one to scare his friend even jokingly." May Allah Bless you and your family.

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