What's the point of building a nice house, if you can't live in it?

So my husband knows a lot of Yemenis. Many of them live in NYC. Most of these men either work in convenience stores, or drive taxis around town. Either way, they work very long hours and often work in the most dangerous neighborhoods. (My husband worked in a dangerous Bronx area for years. He was robbed at gunpoint TWICE!)

These Yemenis work 12 to 16 hour days, usually with NO days off. Yes, it's crazy, especially in this day and age in America. But it's the Yemeni way. If a Yemeni doesn't like it, there are a dozen waiting in line to take his job.

Typically, Yemenis who work in NYC live there on their own, sharing apartments with other workers. Their wives and kids usually remain in Yemen. Many people keep their families away from the US so that their kids stay true to the language, culture and faith. Many see the ways of the US as "sinful" or haram. A big problem is, the family is separated for long stretches at a time, often years and years. While my husband lives here in the US with me and our kids, he goes back to visit about every 5 years. This is par for the course. Often, Yemenis work and work, sending hard-earned cash back home (via Western Union) What little extra they have, gets saved until they have pooled enough money to pay for a round-trip ticket, as well as some spending cash. And too often, it's a neverending cycle: Work 4 years, visit wife and kids for a few months, fly back to the US and work another 4 or 5 years... rinse and repeat.

Another thing many Yemenis do with their money, is save up for a nice house in Sana'a. My husband swears real estate in Sana'a is a hot commodity. He loves to talk about so-and-so, who bought a house ten years ago, and now the value has ballooned to triple, quadruple the initial cost. My husband tends to exaggerate. A lot. I can't tell you how many times he wanted to withdraw my 401(k) retirement savings so we could build a nice house in Sana'a.

One of his cousins in NYC, I'll call him Saif, fits the role I described. He has nine kids, one grandchild and two wives. He works long hours to send money to his wife (wives) and kids in Yemen. He also recently finished building a lavish house in a nice part of Sana'a. My husband raves about how successful Saif was to build this house. Like it's some status symbol.

I am not impressed. Sure, it's a nice house. But honestly, since Saif will be spending most of his time in the US (because he has to earn money to support all those kids!) what is the point of having a big, fancy whoop-de-doo house? He's working 14-hour shifts. He's sending all his money to Yemen. He doesn't see his wife or kids. He lives in a tiny hole-in-the-wall apartment in a seedy NYC neighborhood. Tell me, what kind of life is that? I'd rather do it the American way: Live every day with your family. Spend as much time as possible with them. Money comes and goes but you can never get the time you could have spent with your family back. He could have taken all the money he invested on the Sana'a house and made a fine down payment on a modest home here.